aporia

I don't know what I should do
& I lack the strength to see it through
the choices I've postponed, at last
have come to bite me on the arse
measure twice, cut it once
'cos you never get a second chance
but I feel the absence of elation
crown prince of procrastination

I don't mean to seem evasive
but this sickness is pervasive
chances came & went, I missed 'em
got to get this out of my system

I give up, I admit
all my ambitions turned to shit
I never will achieve my dreams
my future's bursting at the seams
can't tie it off or burn it out
this thread of existential doubt
cuts to the heart of who we are
this aporia

can't see a passage through
I just watch the shaming of the true
all that effort spent in vain
the bullshit bounces back again
we all know that we are fucked
we can't bring ourselves to self-destruct
better just to wait in line
& commentate our slow decline

who'd be a politician?
making all of those big decisions
first they praise ya, then they curse ya
can't shake this damned inertia